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Updated Catholic Marriage program

Brendan Butler • 15 February 2024

Why the local Bishop should still be the arbiter of whether two baptised Christians in a loving relationship can marry each other in church unless these 'promises' are given is incredible in this day and age.

Accord , the Irish Catholic Church's marriage agency, has just published its "updated programme "  following a collaboration involving marriage facilitators, educators ,as well as clergy from all over Ireland.


It was presented by Bishp Nulty, president of Accord.


I was expecting in this Pope Francis era that there would indeed be an " update " on the traditional  catholic  canonical requirements surrounding so called ' mixed marriages".


How Accord  can call  its  new  programme " updated " flies in the face of  reality when it merely repeats verbatim an   80 year old Catholic Canon Law  which  requires a Catholic entering a  mixed marriage   " to declare he or she is prepared to remove dangers from defecting from the faith and to make a sincere promise to do all in his or her power so that all offspring are  baptized and brought up in the Catholic Church ".


( Canon 1125  )

According to this canon  law  the local catholic bishop  can disallow such a marriage to take place in his diocese  "unless the above conditions are fulfilled".


Why the local Bishop should still be the arbiter of whether two baptised Christians in a loving relationship can marry each other in church unless these "promises ' are given is incredible in this day and age.

In fact this   " update " follows on in both the spirit and words of the infamous "Ne Temere Decree " issued by Pope Pius Tenth in 1907 , the terms of which were upheld by the Irish Supreme Court in 1951,  and which caused much scandal and offence to   Christians of the Reformed tradition both in the north and south of Ireland.


Almost 120 years later this requirement still must be addressed by the officiating Catholic priest during the public prenuptial inquiry when he asks for a positive response from the Catholic partner to his question:

" Do you promise to do what you can to have all the children baptised and brought up in the Catholic Faith ".


It is a  unjust obligation to place such an onerous burden on the  conscience of the Catholic in a mixed marriage to have to do all in their  "power " to baptize and rear "offspring " in the Catholic Church  and an  insult to the non catholic partner's

 right and duty  to follow their own particular  conscientious beliefs.


A few weeks ago there was much positive ecumenical  contact between Christians   to promote Christian unity  in Rome .

But  how can there ever be any unity between the Christian Churches while one , the Catholic tradition   still insists that it alone has all the 'truth ' and that the consciences  of Christians from the reformation tradition can be treated with contempt  when it comes to 'mixed marriages'.



Brendan Butler


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A reflection by Soline Humbert for the Women’s Ordination Conference Retreat “Hidden Springs, Holy Radiance” 9 February 2025 [ see recording on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szP5h1kzEsU ] We have been gathering over the past three days in the presence of Brigid of Kildare, and I am sure she has brought gifts to each one, for my experience is that she is attentive to our needs and very generous with her help. At this stage I just want to share some of my own life journey with Brigid. I first encountered her in 1969 when I came from France to Ireland as a child on holidays to learn English. I went to a small Irish town called Tullow. As it happens it was in Tullow that on the first of February 1807 the order of nuns of St Brigid which had been dissolved at the Reformation, had been refounded by a far-sighted bishop. Symbolically an oak sapling had been brought from Kildare Town, from the church of the oak, to Tullow and planted in the grounds of the Brigidine convent where I took English classes. It was by then a majestic oak tree. It still stands to this day. Coincidentally and somewhat ironically, 1969 was also the year that Pope Paul the 6th removed St Brigid, along with 193 other saints, from the Universal Roman Calendar of saints. The reason being that there wasn’t enough evidence for her existence! That despite the fact she was the most mentioned Irish person in the writings of several centuries after her death... What was true was that her flame had been somehow extinguished, and her importance diminished in a deeply clericalised and patriarchal church as Ireland was at the time. She was in the shadow of St Patrick and very much the secondary patron Saint, reflecting the secondary position of women in general. But change was slowly happening. Having discovered in myself a vocation to the priesthood I eventually co- founded a group for women’s ordination and launched a petition to open all ministries to women in February 1993. At the very same time, which I consider providential, the flame of St Brigid was rekindled by the Brigidine sisters in Kildare Town. Women were stirring after a very long wintertime in the church and in society and becoming more fiery. Brigid with her torch was blazing a way for equality. It is then, and only then, that I came across the story of her ordination as a bishop and I remember my astonishment for I had never read anything like that before, or since, for that matter. Of course, while this fact was mentioned in many of the lives of Brigid going back to the first millennium it had been quietly left out of the pious descriptions of her life which were fed to the people. The way the story is recounted makes it clear that her ordination was considered to be very much the doing of the Holy Spirit. Objections about her gender were voiced but powerless to negate what God had done. It reminds me very much of the passage in the Acts of the Apostles when St Peter is amazed to discover that the Holy Spirit has descended on Cornelius, a gentile, and which leads him to conclude that “God has no favourites”. Brigid’s episcopal ordination at the hands of a bishop overcome by the Spirit is also a powerful affirmation that when it comes to ordination God has no favourite gender. Her ordination’s divine origin shows that Brigid was a bishop because God ordained it, and her. A very subversive truth our Church has yet to learn... As we campaigned for women’s ordination we made sure that this episode from Brigid’s life was brought into the open, again and again, despite clerical efforts to dismiss this dangerous historical memory as pure legend and keep it buried. Interestingly when the Anglican Church of Ireland, (Episcopalian) ordained their first woman bishop in 2013 it was to the diocese of Meath and Kildare! A very symbolic act. I have often gone to St Brigid’s Well in Kildare, a little oasis of peace, to spend some time with Brigid and re-source myself by the gently flowing water. After the First Women’s Ordination Worldwide Dublin international Conference in 2001 I went there again on the anniversary of my baptism and I hung my purple stole on a tree overlooking the well. I had worn that stole for many years as a sign of waiting. From now on I would wear stoles of other colours. And a few years ago, I found myself back in Tullow, as a guest speaker at the invitation of the Brigidine sisters for an international celebration. It was very moving to be able to speak of my calling to priesthood in the place where the order of St Brigid had been revived and where I had first come as a child half a century beforehand! That day I sensed very much the presence of Brigid the bishop and I was filled with joy and gratitude. In some ways we can say St Brigid has risen up and is leading the way for women to rise up. Although a woman in what was very much a man’s world and a man’s church, Brigid exudes a remarkable confidence in her being, in her words and in her actions. No doubt that confidence was rooted in a deeply contemplative life nurtured by prayer. “From the moment I first knew God, I have never let him out of my mind, and I never shall”. She embodies the authority which stems from being filled by the Spirit and a leadership at the service of peace, justice, hospitality to the strangers, charity to the poor and marginalised, reconciliation, healing and harmony with creation and care of the earth. The two Scripture readings we have just heard are very fitting for she was renowned for her practical care and generosity to those in need or suffering. Like Christ, she went around doing good. 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