When an angel comes in the guise of a busker....

Early in 1994 I received a phone call asking me if I would be willing to participate in a French television programme and speak about my vocation to be a catholic priest. Although French, I had been living in Ireland for over 20 years, so I replied I would only do so if they really couldn't find somebody in France. They told me nobody else was willing to go public with their calling, I was the only one they could find.

Twenty-five years ago very few women were able to speak publicly about their sense of vocation to an ordained ministry from which they were (and still are)) excluded. I had felt compelled by the Spirit to give a voice and a face to that hidden reality in the Catholic Church.

And so it was that I flew from Dublin to Paris to appear on live television. I had spoken on radio but never on television, so this was another step. It amused me that my debut on television should be in my home country. I had a sense of God guiding my steps and opening doors to me in a way I could never have dreamt of, so that was just the latest adventure on a very unusual journey... 

On Friday 11^th of March I left my father's house in Versailles to take the suburban train to Paris and the Television studio.

On my way to the station I stopped off at a church (St Joan of Arc) and said a prayer to be guided in my television contribution.

I was calm and collected, and aware of God 's supporting presence.

But as the train pulled out of the station, it all changed very rapidly and inexplicably. It was as if I was suddenly plunged in darkness and an insistent inner voice filled me with dread: ''Not only you are deceiving yourself that you are called to be a priest, but you are going to go and deceive all these people!'' I was now in a pit of despair. There was absolutely no way I could possibly continue and appear in public, if my vocation was a lie. I certainly didn’t want to deceive anybody. I had never experienced such torment.

As I was sitting with my private agony a busker appeared in the carriage and started singing. After a few verses of his song he interrupted himself abruptly and declared to the passengers: ''I am going to tell you the story of Mary of Nazareth. At the foot of the Cross she said to God: I offer Him back to you, my flesh and blood.''

That's all. As he said these totally unexpected words, all my inner darkness lifted, the oppressive inner voice was silenced and replaced by a deep peace. The storm was stilled miraculously and I was saved from drowning. 

The busker then went to exit the carriage. I gave him a handsome tip; his words were well worth it!

The television recording went very smoothly.

There was another miracle linked to this event.

I hadn't told anybody in France besides my father that I would be on television to proclaim to the nation that I had a calling to priesthood. But later on I discovered that my brother happened to be in hospital following a minor accident and watching afternoon TV, and also my best friend was moved to turn on that channel at that time. Imagine their surprise to see me on screen with that revelation: A real ''coming out ''! I couldn’t have organised it better than Providence did.

All this happened a long time ago and I have been on television many times since, but to this day these events remain carved in my mind and heart, and with it a deep awe and gratitude. One of the many miracles I have been graced to witness. Magnificat!

Soline Vatinel Humbert 

solinehumbert@yahoo.ie